Studies show that we are only born with two innate fears; falling and loud noises. As we grow up we are influenced by our surroundings and culture and might develop fears of things like snakes, spiders or the dark. But as we become adults we start getting scared of different things, like, do I fit in? Can I do this correctly? Or what if I don’t succeed? These fears are so very real and go hand in hand with things like depression and anxiety. These fears can build to a point of overwhelm and by not trying to overcome them, the answer is always going to be “no you can’t” or “no you won’t”.
Now I’m not saying if you do something out of your comfort zone like, go out with a new group of friends or doing a new activity you’ve never done before, that it will heal your depression or anxiety, but by challenging yourself to try something that you’ve been too scared to do before, it could make you feel more powerful than ever.
Once you start to challenge your fears, you shrink them. The more you talk about the thing it is you’re afraid of you’re belittling it by every word you talk about it. Tell a friend or even a work colleague what it is and see if they have an experience of the same thing, or maybe they can tell you if they have done it themselves.
Now I know this is much easier said than done, but I wouldn’t be writing about it if I wasn’t doing it myself! For starters this blog was a huge thing for me (I’ve actually been “setting this up” for a little while now, and by “setting up” I mean procrastinating to avoid going live!) Putting myself out there for all to judge was a huge fear for me, but it’s something I am working on, and if I can motivate you to do something that challenges you, I’ll be happy! I am also working on something else this year, which I can’t say too much about right now as it’s still very early days, but it involves public speaking which is something that petrifies me! I will most certainly keep you posted about this and how I do!
One thing to remember is, confidence is key, even if you’re not. I guess that’s where “fake it until you make it” works. For me I feel more confident when I do research and feel more knowledgable or when I openly talk about it, for example telling whoever I am with that I am new to this or why I am afraid, I find by being confident enough to talk about it openly it belittles that big, dark, scary, fear-monster and immediately lightens the load, even just for a moment. Think about it, talk about it; what step can you take to challenge something you’re afraid of? Maybe it’s signing yourself up for that next open mic night, or maybe it’s finally telling that certain person how you feel about them.
Nothing can beat the feelings you get when you face a fear, feelings of excitement, accomplishment, achievement and power! And every time you do, not only do you become stronger, you become more knowledgable, more admirable, more daring! All these attributes exude confidence which, in the right quantity is the sexiest trait of all!
I’d love to know if you’re inspired to challenge yourself! Please let me know what you’re doing. Let’s use 2019 as a year of more personal growth and success. There is enough for everyone!